Last weekend we went to visit friends for a night of fun with them and another couple.  We have known our friends for several years now and always enjoy their company, whether it is swinging or not.  They have become true friends.

Anyway, after a lapse of some months from our swinging adventures, we accepted this invite to theirs.  They said this other couple, with whom we had spoken online a few times last year, were also going to be there.  The reason we hadn’t taken it further with this couple were that we weren’t actually very interested but we hadn’t said as much because we had kept an open mind and, at one point, we had thought we might meet them.

To be honest, we weren’t over enthusiastic about meeting this new couple but we decided, in the true spirit of swinging, to go along anyway as we knew we would enjoy seeing our old friends again.

As usual, the evening started with drinks and dinner and we enjoyed ourselves.  However, I didn’t find either one of the new couple physically attractive and, more importantly, not attractive in personality.  I won’t go into the whys and wherefores, it’s incidental, but the point is, I wasn’t attracted to them.  What I will say is that when the guy took his clothes off I was mortified.  He’d clearly lost a LOT of weight and was very unattractive.  This wasn’t really the issue however.  The issue was that, at dinner, he had been talking about size and how women misrepresented themselves in their profiles.  I couldn’t believe it when I saw his body.  Well, I could. The man clearly has issues.

Anyway, we moved into the other room for the fun to begin and, at this point, I would quite happily have gone home.  However, in the true spirit of swinging, I threw myself into it all and performed admirably, although I didn’t have penetrative sex with the stranger.

On the way home, as always, we reflected on the evening.  We both agreed we hadn’t enjoyed the sex really and that we were a bit tired of the whole swinging thing.

This set me off thinking about the whole business of swinging.  Now we have been involved in it for a while, I think I can sit back and give some of my opinions.  These are just my opinions obviously but I just wonder how many others might share them…..

1. Swinging is often fucking just for the sake of fucking – regardless of attraction

2. It’s rare to find a mutual attraction, particularly for all four

Obviously, I am generalising.  We do enjoy the fun, the humour and the entertainment that goes along with swinging quite often.  We enjoy coming home and discussing the horrors and then having very good sex together.  We have met some great people who have become friends. We’ve had some good sex!  We’ve had a few rather STRANGE experiences as well…..

But I just cannot fuck someone I don’t fancy.  I don’t need to be wooed, and I don’t need an emotional bond.  I just need some attraction, a glimmer of chemistry and the knowledge that we aren’t all just doing this because it’s ‘in the spirit of swinging’.  Nothing is compulsory and I’ve never been pressured into doing anything I don’t want to.  But there is an expectation that we will all have sex with each other and it is pretty difficult to be the voice that says, no thanks, I’ll make the tea.

Maybe I’m just not cut out to be a swinger.  I don’t know.  I’d be really interested to hear from other swingers about their views on this.

And if I fancy you, I might even shag you…..